Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Why Am I A Stay-At-Home-Mum??

I feel like these days, society expects women to be able to do it all. You can have a family, a nice house, a husband, home cooked meals every night, sterling social life and a fantastic career to boot. It's like since we asked for the ability to have careers, women now are thought to be superwomen and staying at home is not enough and without a career or your own money "its just not good enough".

Martin and I decided long ago that my focus, my career if you will, would be raising my family and doing it myself with Martin there for evenings and weekends. We don't want some nursery or playgroup to provide our child with the time she needs from us, though don't get me wrong we have thought about it! Children need to be with their main caregiver at home, learning, playing and receiving love from them. I fully understand some women who feel they need to go back to work to provide for their children or they can't do without a second wage coming in, but we decided we would make major cut backs in life so we could afford to do things this way.

I feel like when I tell people my status of home maker/ stay at home mum/full time mum, they think I'm some second class citizen or I've no education hence why I do nothing but raise Eva. Screw them and their small mindedness!

The plan for now is to raise our family while we're young and fit and then I can either follow my path in web design and interactive media by going to university or finding work and earning my own money.

For now I try to be the best mother I can to Eva and teach her good values. I cook everyday which I love doing, I deliberate over what baby items we need to buy, I scour websites on ways to save money and then go out for coffee, usually decaf these days, haha, I'm not perfect! Eva goes to creche Monday while I go to antenatal swimming class, Tuesday and Wednesday are our days for cleaning or general appointments, Thursdays Eva is at creche while I attend a PND counselling session, and Fridays we did used to go to Bookbug and we still try to but this is when I have midwife or hospital OB appointments so we haven't gone as much as I'd like to. Guilt again!

Monday, 28 April 2014

21 Weeks Pregnant with Baby Number Two!

Life has been so busy lately, as you can imagine with a one and a half year old and being halfway through this pregnancy! My poor other half is studying hard for his upcoming exams in May and as we had our 20 week scan last week both our brains have gone to mush it seems!
20 weeks with baby number 2!

20 weeks with Eva!
Trying to regain some control and stay sane though! It seems as though things got real after last weeks ultrasound scan. We'd planned to start getting the necessary baby items once we had the all clear and now we have its pretty scary as we now have 4 and a half months to go. With a toddler in tow, thats no time at all!
This last week I have bought the buggy, thankfully Eva likes it, its a Phil & Ted's e3 double buggy bought second hand as there was no way we buying something like the almost £2k Bugaboo Donkey! So much harder shopping for a double than a single let me tell you. Thankfully we got this but still loads more to get though!

Our baby is beautiful and healthy but a completely different kettle of fish from Eva, who would not stay still for the sonographer and never has since the day she was born. This one though lay there good as gold, did some thumb sucking and generally a lot cooler than the wild thing we already have.

Can you guess what were having?

I had been thinking for some time to look into having my placenta encapsulated and take the pills in dehyrated form because of the amazing health benefits. Your placenta controls your hormones for 9 months and when you give birth it takes a while for your brain to get used to doing this for you again. I had such a hard time in those firt few weeks with Eva that any help would be welcome! It's strange that we are the only mammals who don't regularly consume our placentas so it makes perfect sense to me, though I will not be consuming mine raw that's for sure!

I contacted Holly Gibb at Minyara and she is going to come and do mine, as well as making an umbilical cord keepsake, and beautiful placenta print.

Holly's words on the subject,

You probably know all the benefits already but incase you don't, consuming your babies placenta will help increase your energy by replacing hormones and vitamins that have been lost during birth.  This also decreases baby blues and postpartum depression.  You will give your milk an incredible boost; decrease your postpartum bleeding, and also decrease night sweats.

I am completely making this pregnancy as nice as it can be, doing the things I didn't do in pregnancy with Eva and really enjoying every day and what it brings because its such a short time and then your hands are full with a new bundle of love!

I can't wait to be able to do a belly cast and hang this in the nursery for baby and Eva, as well as the beautiful placenta print I am so proud of already. 

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram you may have seen that Eva was gifted with a gold pair of Freshly Picked Moccasinshttp://freshly-picked.com/! We are going to do a review of them coming very soon! 


Thursday, 3 April 2014

My Birth Plan - I'm 18 Weeks Pregnant!

I am almost halfway through my pregnancy and the time has come to start thinking about how I want to give birth!

I started Lazy Daisy Birthing Classes this week and even after one session I feel so much more prepared for birthing. I tried hypnobirthing last time. Hypnobirth coupled with being induced and having pretty closed views of what I wanted for my birth made it pretty hard when my concentration was broken when I was having contractions.
From what I understand now, hypnobirthing is like meditation and when you have your concentration broken at all it can be extremely hard to get back in the zone.

With Lazy Daisy, birth is more about understanding the physiology and being in control of breathing to lower adrenaline and keep oxygen going to the most important muscle you use during birth - your uterus. When you get anxious and fear takes over adrenaline takes over and sends oxygen to the important fight or flight muscles and other body parts get tense. Its not a good way to be during labour that's for sure.

I have another 5 sessions of the birthing class to attend and I am so excited to learn more. We covered relaxed breathing exercises, positions, the actual physiology of the birthing process and why we want our endorphines on our side! Endorphines are many more times stronger than morphine!

My Relaxed Birthing Plan

Preferences for labour and the birth of my child.

  • Whom do I want with me during labour and birth? Martin Reay, if there are complications would like privacy to discuss anything. I do not want to be separated from my partner during labour or birth.
  • My environment for labour and birth? Privacy, quiet, relaxed music, my own food and drink, dim lighting, birthing ball,use of aromatherapy oils,
  • If everything is straightforward, how do I want my baby’s heartbeat to be measured during labour? At various intervals with a hand held Doppler.
  • How will I cope with pain? If everything is straight- forward I would like gas and air if I need it, do not offer me PAIN relief. We want a relaxed atmosphere, preferably in a birthing pool.
  • Vaginal examinations to assess progress of labour? Would like this to be limited and only if necessary, and not to be put into a position that can slow down labour or move baby from the birthing position.
  • How would I like to give birth? Plan A is in a birthing pool (if available in the labour ward), including delivery of placenta without injection if possible, I understand if I have to.
  • After my baby’s birth: Wwould like baby to stay with me and apgar to be measured in my arms so I can establish breastfeeding, I will clean baby up and want to be present for weighing etc.
  • Agree to give baby a vitamin k injection.
Other requirements
  • 12 hours after heparin injection.
If in established labour 12 hours after taking a heparin injection, I would like a water birth and I will ask for gas and air if I need it, please do not offer me anything other than suggestions for positioning.

If birth isn’t straightforward then I would agree to a spinal injection/epidural for any complications such as caesarean or forceps intervention etc etc.

  • Before 12 hours
If in established labour before 12 hours after taking a heparin injection, I understand I cannot have a water birth, but would like a similar relaxed environment, to be allowed use of a shower for the water to get me through labour or use of a gym ball, and to be free to move around, i.e. standing, squatting when giving birth.

If there are complications, I understand I need to be given a general anaesthetic.

  • Special requirements
If labour slows down, I’d like to be sent home.
I would like no time limits on labouring and prefer labour not to be augmented unless medically necessary.
I'd prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely necessary.
I would prefer no IV unless absolutely necessary.
I would like to wait to breathe baby down until I feel the urge even if I am fully dilated. Also, do not want to be counted or told to push.
I would like to wait on cutting the umbilical cord until it stops pulsating, my partner might like to cut the cord.
I would like to be discharged as soon as possible.

The lazy daisy birthing class I joined is with Rosie in East Lothian and was £48.60 for 6 classes. This was with 10% off because I found her through netmums.co.uk. Here is the link to her Facebook page too if you are interested in trying a class in your area.